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A Night With Tiffany By David Curran, SF Gate staff |
Thursday, May 11, 2000
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(SF Gate's David Curran provided hourly updates from in and around the Webbys.)
The place is a circus and -- more to the point -- like a zoo. The crew is still working fiercely, duct taping the red carpet and setting up the tables while simultaneously every one of them is constantly on a cell phone. There seem to be endless numbers of crew. Crew in T-shirts, crew in gowns and dozens of security officers -- all working on the Schlain gang. Giant media trucks are everywhere. Whoa, my! This woman just walked by in one ridiculous outfit -- backless, red, skintight -- the party goers are arriving. Traffic remains smooth at this point, the closure of Taylor Street between Sacramento and California doesn't seem to be affecting things. The party at Grace Cathedral is about to start. I got in -- tipped off by a British tourist, who thought it was great that he could sneak in, but found it odd that "they've got a coat check in a church." They really seem to be after a religious experience here. For the VIP ceremony, participants will walk through the cathedral while serenaded by a cappella singers (crossing oneself before the almighty promoter is optional) and then into the courtyard for pre-party. The few neighbors I've seen all seem to be out walking their Scotties and some are grumbling. One man who wished to remain anonymous told me, "75 percent of the neighbors think it's crazy, 25 percent put up with it." No sightings of Webbys founder Tiffany Schlain as of yet.
To generate some kind of excitement, several paid squealers in 1940s costumes have lined the red carpet. When any pseudo-celeb climbs up, they squeal such lines as "Oh, you made it," "Ooh, you look fabulous" and "Ooh, it's you." Clearly, they have no idea who the people are. As the squealers squeal, a bunch of guys dressed like extras from "The Front Page" snap their Roloflex cameras. As far as I could tell, the VIPs were not amused. Meanwhile, across the tracks, the cable car tracks that is, the anti-development folks have set up shop. It's a new group called the Coalition Against Dot-Com Displacement. They're holding up a queen-size bed sheet with a sign reading "Dot Com Developers Displace." Displace people, I presume. "What we want," spokesman Chris Kirby explained, "is development signed off by the community." But the group is having a hard time getting the Planning Commission, developers and politicians such as Leslie Katz even to meet with them. One minute later, a nicely dressed man in Armani glasses introduces himself to me. "You were talking to that guy? I'm Andrew Sun from SKS Developers. We're doing the Bryant Square project. There's another side to this story." I asked him what it is and he said he'd call me tomorrow.
Hope they aren't being paid in stock options. Ooh, it's Sandra Bernhard, looking kind of like Christie Brinkley in her tan pin-striped pantsuit. Kind of. And what would her five-word acceptance speech be? "Peace, love, happiness, beauty ... sex." Love ya, Sandy. There's Alan Cumming, the star. Look up! People in red Spandex are rappelling down the Masonic in slow motion, doing modern dance ritual performance as space music blasts out of the building. Whoa. As they land, Tiffany arrives. Her outfit, a simple black silk number, is probably worth 10 of my paychecks.
10:28 p.m. Apologies from the top of the Masonic. Yes, the very last row. Couldn't hear a few of the mumblers. Trust me, you didn't miss a thing. Note from the ceremony: how do you wake up a Webby audience? Three ways. One is say Napster (wild applause). Two is say eToys (boos all around). Three, drag out Mahir, the 'I Kiss You' guy. THE WINNERS AND FIVE-WORD SPEECHES Activism - Ad Busters: Three letters, I-P-O.
Arts - Web Stalker: Technical innovation equals class war. Broadband - Video Farm: Putting video into everybody's hands. Commerce - BabyCenter: Thank you Matt and Mark. Education - Merriam-Webster Word Central: Antidisestablishmentarianism. Pseudopsychoanalsis. Polyvinylmasathrealasin. Onomotoplayer. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Fashion - Paul Smith: I am not Paul Smith.
Film - Atom Films: Thanks to the filmmakers. Banana.
Finance - Gomez.com: Can you spell quiet period? Games - Game Spy Industries: Everyone likes the licky-licky. Health - Thrive Online: It just took four years. Humor - The Onion: They said I could only.
Kids-Scholastic.com. (Not present) Living - Epicurian: Is this thing edible? Nanja. Music - Napster: This is great. Thank you. News - Jim Romenesko's Media News: I am not Jim Romenesko. Personal - Cocky Bastard: Let's play feel the love. Politics and law - Politics.com: Bear. Wadsworth. Paine. Touchscreen. Hennequin. Print and zines - Nerve.com: Shucks. Screw with your mind. Radio - Lost and Found Sound: Diva, laugh, webbys and NPR. Science - The Cave of Lascaux: Definitely French. Thank you San Francisco. Services - Evite.com: Friends, it's time to party. Sports - ESPN.com: Thank you sports fans. Technical achievement - Google.com: We love you, Google users. Travel - Outside online: Thank you. Now get outside. TV - MSNBC.com: We all have a story to tell. Weird - The Stile Project: Stile sux.
SF MOMA Prize for Digital Arts - Michael Samyn and Auriea Harvey: (L-o-o-o-ong passionate kiss). Thank you.
PREVIOUS REPORTS The Preview: Getting Ready Every year, the Webby Awards are splashier than ever, and 2000 is no exception. Last year they took over the Masonic, this year they've got all of Nob Hill. As a Webby newbie, I can't wait to go, even though I have been worrying for days about looking too Old Economy and getting re-directed to the Pacific Union Club by some over-buffed bouncer hired by promoter Tiffany Schlain. Who's nominated? Who knows. Of the people I know attending, no one has any idea who's up for a Webby. Seems the old eBay vs. Amazon battle for top e-commerce honors doesn't exactly get the blood pumping. Still, the prospect for a great party has everyone's attention. Imagine 3,000 New Economists - geeks, marketers, sales types, scribes, hangers on and friends of Tiffany (FOTs) -- parading around in the latest broadband fashions looking for fun, face time, beaming, boozing, bragging, noshing, Sandra Bernhard, and -- sure, fine -- to see who's going to take home those distended Slinkys (see picture above) covered in ones and zeroes. I'll be there with the blow-by-blow. Tune in early: Maybe the VIP party at Grace Cathedral will turn into a mass confession for sins committed upon the City's downtrodden artists. Maybe the socialites will sic their poodles on all these young upstarts. You never know. Otherwise you can expect an almost real-time take on all the goings-on with in-depth coverage of the awesome food and liquor selection and whatever wonderful banter I happen to overhear, provided I'm not clutching a drink or shrimp cocktail at the time. The one guarantee here -- and this is a promise - you can expect full coverage of the single thrilling aspect of this show you won't find at any awards show, anywhere in the universe: Yes, the five-word acceptance speeches. If they don't slur, I won't either, and that's a promise.
THE WEBBY AWARDS -- 2000 WINNERS--Activism: Ad Busters - www.adbusters.org --Arts: Web Stalker - www.backspace.org/iod/iod4winupdates.html --Broadband: Video Farm - www.videofarm.com --Commerce: BabyCenter - www.babycenter.com --Community: Cafe Utne - cafe.utne.com/cafe --Education: Merriam Websters-Word Central - www.wordcentral.com --Fashion: Paul Smith - www.paulsmith.co.uk --Film: Atom Films - www.atomfilms.com --Finance: Gomez.com - www.gomez.com --Games: GameSpy Industries - www.gamespy.com --Health: Thrive Online - www.thriveonline.com --Humor: The Onion - www.theonion.com --Kids: Scholastic.com - www.scholastic.com --Living: Epicurious - food.epicurious.com --Music: Napster - www.napster.com --News: Jim Romenesko's Media News - www.poynter.org/medianews --Personal Web Site: Cocky Bastard - www.cockybastard.com --Politics & Law: Politics.com - www.politics.com --Print/Zines: Nerve - www.nerve.org --Radio: Lost and Found Sound - www.lostandfoundsound.com --Science: Lascaux - www.culture.fr/culture/arcnat/lascaux --Services: Evite - www.evite.com --Sports: ESPN espn.go.com --Technical Achievement: Google - www.google.com --Travel: Outside Online - www.outsidemag.com --Television: MSNBC - www.msnbc.com --Weird: Stile Project - www.stileproject.com
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